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Julie Frayn is the author of Suicide City, a Love Story (currently a semi-finalist in the Kindle Book Review 2013 Book Awards), and It Isn't Cheating if He's Dead. She also writes short stories (placing third in the Writer's Digest Write it Your Way contest with Samburger and Flies). Julie blogs at You can find her on twitter @JulieFrayn and facebook at

Canada Online News | Gonzo Online! Columinist

There are a lot of Yoda spoofs out there, turning grammar on its green pointy ear and stating things in Yoda-like syntax.  But sometimes the turns of phrase seem less like little green dude perfection, and more like a cheap imitation.  So I tried my hand at reimagining some old sayings Yoda style.   Just for fun on a happy Friday! Yo! Duh.


Feed you the hand does. Bite it you must not.

Tricks new. Dogs old. Teach? You cannot.

A pig in shit, he is. Happy. Happy.

Laugh last you should. Laugh best you will.

By the light saber you live? Kill you it will.

The beholder’s eye, beauty it sees.

The Vader you do not know? Or the Vader you do? Better he is.

Again you say that, you can, you can.

When fall off a Tauntaun you do, get back on you must

Wait you must. Come, good things do. Come they do.

You do. You do not. No matter. Damned you will be.

Spite your face, do you? Then your nose you cut off.

If asleep you are, win you will not

Scratch my back you will.  Scratch it! Scratch it!

If curious you are, dead you will be.  You will be.

Our valuable member has been with us since Wednesday, 25 November 2015.

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smallearth53 (11.12.2012 (08:23:27))
1 Hmm....try again you must... sorry...Quote
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smallearth53 (24.06.2013 (02:17:38))
Yes No Dickhead I am not, prat sometimes...Quote

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