1. In a desperate bid to do something — anything — creative (since the day job is in a profession that not only frowns on creativity but may prosecute you for it), sign up for a creative writing course and write a short story.

2. Check the mailbox daily like a crazed loon to see if the instructor sent it back with his accolades. (That’s mailbox, the metal thing attached to the front of the house. What? It is 1998 after all).

3. Finally, after four or five interminable weeks, rip open the envelope to discover a slew of red pen marks, suggestions, and corrections.

4. Cry a little.

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